


Peter Parker's horrible no good very bad field trip

by allandnothing



Series: Excuse the mess but we live here [1]
Category: Guardians of the Galaxy (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Gen, Infinity War AU, Light Angst, Not A Fix-It, Peter Parker is a cutie, Protective Tony Stark, Team as Family, everyone is freaking out and needs a hug, hence Infinity War spoilers, just a bunch of interactions I wish had happened, peter parker's pov, the last four don't have a big role tho, trans!Spidey although not explicitly mentioned, what's a plot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-11
Updated: 2018-06-11
Packaged: 2019-05-20 23:06:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,892
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14903906
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/allandnothing/pseuds/allandnothing
Summary: “You have... spider superpowers?”Peter nodded. Groot curiously examined the webs remains on his console. Mantis kept tracing the suit’s lines and weavings with her fingers. Rocket looked like he just went through the five stages of grief in half a second.“I’m way too old for this shit”Or: Infinity War AU in which they actually prepare for the battle, the Guardians try to get (part of) the Avengers to trust them and Peter Parker finds out space is weirder that he thought it’d be.





	Peter Parker's horrible no good very bad field trip

**Author's Note:**

> So... that nightmare we all call Infinity War happened, and as every other normal person dealing with the deaths of literally all her faves I thought it'd be therapeutic to write an IW fix-it in which everyone lived and they all went for ice creams sundaes, the end
> 
> That didn't happen, because I can't think of any sort of storyline that doesn't involve Nebula, Gamora, Drax and Thor just beating the absolute shit out of that Joss Whedon-y ugly eggplant and literally nothing else, so I had to resort to this plotless bunch of interactions that I wish had happened in IW, all told by Little Pete's perspective and peppered with some of my personal headcanons 
> 
> That's just a roundabout way to say that if you're looking for a fix-it, this ain't it
> 
> You'll notice that a lot of things aren't the same as in the movie, simply because if I want to write interactions I kind of need some characters to be in the same room as the others and not god knows where else, so just ignore the canon plot, sit back, and relax
> 
> (It goes without saying but beware for some Infinity War spoilers here and there)

It was an interesting observation on his part- a teenager who had been raised up in the era of technologic and scientific advancements, who could easily look up on Google high defined pictures of any of the nine planets of his system enough times to even get bored of them, and who in general should’ve really known better- but space was a lot weirder than he anticipated.

First of all, despite all the conspiracy theories shows he would watch with May late at night as a kid and that would keep him awake until the sunrise, he never expected space to be so full of life. Sure, the Chitauri had made their grand appearance in New York years ago shattering any theory of “we’re the only life in the universe” anyone could’ve had, but as far as he was concerned, _that_ was space. That was all he needed to be worried about was another alien invasion planned to happen during one of his free afternoons.

The aliens that appeared out of thin air in New York and tried to kidnap the wizard, Strange, had been a big “fuck you” to his stupid Earth-centric ideas.

Yep, other aliens existed, knew of their planet, and were particularly pissed, for some reason.

But that day was a day of realization and discoveries for Peter Parker, because standing dumbfounded behind a worried Tony Stark and a concerned- and bleeding- Stephen Strange, he had also never expected his second encounter with an extra-terrestrial life to consist in a surprisingly human-looking person- wearing way too much armour to seem harmless, a battled up leather jacket along with equally worn-out jeans, and were those ear-buds sticking out of his shirt’s collar? - getting out of his massive spaceship carefully parked in the middle of Central Park (terrifying not a small number of people) and asking them if they wanted to join him and his friends in defeating Thanos.

If Mr Stark had anything to say about the man that argument died on his lips the moment Thor himself stepped out of the same spaceship, urging them to just hurry up already.

So that’s how Peter finds himself curled up on one of the ship’s orange seats, looking out into the colourful immensity of the universe and trying very hard not to freak out. The adults- Mr Stark, the newly acquired friend Doctor Strange, Thor and his warrior friend Valkyrie, and the weird aliens he has assumed were adults judging by the pitch of their voices and that had introduced themselves as the _Guardians of the Galaxy_ (Tony had tried making fun of the name but was silenced when Thor reminded him that they un-ironically called themselves _Earth’s Mightiest Heroes_ ) - were supposed to be coming up with a plan to fight Thanos and the other ugly looking aliens that had almost kidnapped Strange and that the green lady had described as the “Dark Order” (Peter couldn’t find it within himself to be mad at someone with such a cool name) but they had actually been spending the last half an hour arguing just for the sake of it. He caught bits and pieces of it, and it surely didn’t seem productive in the least.

He had tried to calm his nerves down by looking around the spaceship- _the Quadrant_ , he had heard the human looking guy say- but apart from a few photos and thinkers that seemed relatively human looking everything else just seemed so _foreign_ it only spiked up his anxiety, and when he caught sight of a raccoon walking upright down the corridor towards the ship’s cockpit he had decided that yes, he _really_ needed to sit down.

He spent the first five minutes reloading his web shooters and checking out the features of his brand new suit, but after even that bored him he decided to focus his attention on the only other two beings in the room that weren’t involved in the argument going on a few meters down the room.

One of them, sitting sideways on a seat a couple of feet away, was what looked like a tree that seemed quite busy playing some sort of video game on a retro console, and he doubted it'd be more entertained by talking with him, so he redirected his attention to the weird looking alien sat on the orange seat next to him. She (was that a she? Oh man, he hoped they weren’t going to get offended if he messed up their pronouns) was looking at him with big black eyes, a pair of antennae were sticking out of her head, and she was smiling in a way that she probably thought was reassuring but that was everything but. He tried to reciprocate the smile, and it seemed like that was the input she was waiting for.

“I’m Mantis,” she said, without dropping her enormous smile “I’m very pleased to meet all of you. It’s rare for us to have guests”

Peter’s smile was genuine this time.

“Thank you for picking us up. I’m Peter. Peter Parker” he extended his right hand towards her, and what looked like a brief moment of panic passed over her face, before she curled up her sleeve around her hand and used it to grip his in an awkward handshake “I’m sorry- that’s, that’s a thing we do on Earth, I didn’t realize it was going to look weird to you-“

“Oh” her antennae perked up at his fumbled apology, and she hastily fixed her sleeve back in place “Oh no, Peter has introduced us to quite a lot of Terran habits” she nodded her head towards the anxious circle of people in front of them, and he realized she was talking about their leader (so he _is_ human) “It’s just that with my emphatic abilities I should always be careful when touching people”

Peter’s curiosity tingled, and he turned in his seat to face Mantis more properly, “Emphatic abilities?”

She nodded, “If I touch someone’s skin I can feel every emotion going through their head. It’s usually a very helpful power, as I can use it to calm people down or even make them fall asleep if they have trouble in it, but strangers don’t always like it”

Peter couldn’t help but smile thinking what a great pair she and Wanda Maximoff would make.

“Well, I think it’s a really cool superpower,” he said, honestly. Mantis made a very high pitched “mhm?” as the smile returned on her face, and he nodded vigorously “If you had to interrogate someone you’d just have to touch them to know what questions to ask. It would save a lot of time! Oh, you could even just make enemies pass out instead of fighting them! Man, that’d be so useful"

Mantis was now literally glowing in happiness, but her smile quickly subdued when she turned her gaze to the argument, her hands twitching with anticipation, and it almost seemed like she was waiting for something to happen.

“Peter didn’t like it a first, and Gamora wouldn’t even let me touch her, but they later came around. Drax, on the other hand, is the only one that immediately took a liking to it” she briefly looked back at him with her next words “I’m glad you’re like him”

He nodded again with a smile, awkwardly bumping her arm with his fist (he didn’t really know why he did that but Mantis seemed to appreciate), and they both went back to focus on the adults talk.

“I’m not saying that we don’t trust you. It’s just that you look kind of shady, that’s all”

“We saved you and the blondie’s lives, lady. Show us some d’ast respect.”

“To be fair, Rocket, we are shady enough for it to be taken into consideration”

“Whatever-“

“Listen, we’re not here to have you like us, we just want to know if you want to be our allies or what”

“I don’t know about the rest of you but I’m not stupid, and I’ll take their alliance any day”

“Oh great, Stephen, I’ll be sure to pick up your body after they steal the stone and give it to Thanos after betraying you”

“ _Stark_ -"

“If you really think we’re on Thanos’ side then why did you even get on our spaceship?”

“Okay, guys, we really need to calm down-“

“Cap'tain?”

“What?”

“Should we try to contact Stakar and the other Ravagers? They have a hell lot more firepower than we ever dream to”

“He doesn’t know us, Krag, I doubt he’d trust us. And anyway even if he did the fact that Yondu and Rocket destroyed the Elector and killed everyone on it isn’t gonna help any-“

“I’m sorry, _who_ did _what_?!”

“See? Shady.”

“You really had to mention it, didn’t you, Quill?

“Oh, please. I’m sure y’all never hurt a fly in your damn lives- fucking unlikely”

It seemed like Peter wasn’t the only one tired of the fight because the racoon he had seen earlier walked away from the group and towards them with a grim expression on his muzzle.

“Bunch of idiots, we’re all gonna die and they still arguing over nothin'” he mumbled under his breath before stopping in front of the tree, still busy playing with his video game “Groot, where did you put the space suits?”

The tree barely looked up from his game, “I am Groot”

“Don’t you use that tone of voice with me” he growled, his ears flat on his head and his teeth bared. The number of people on the spaceship seemed to be getting on his nerves, and Peter felt bad for him “You were the last one to use them, and you better find them the same way you find your damn retorts”

The tree sighed really loudly for it to be natural, but the racoon’s scolding seemed to be enough to make him reluctantly point at a metallic shelf on the nearby wall.

“Thanks” the racoon answered stiffly, making his way to the shelf “You heard that? I said _thanks_. That’s what polite people do, y’know? They say _please_ and _thanks_ ”

The tree sighed again before turning back to his game.

Peter curiously cranked his head to see what, exactly, the racoon was looking for, and when he saw him try to lift a box at least two times his size he awkwardly raised his hand, before immediately shaking himself and putting it down.

“You need help with that?” he asked in an involuntary squeaky voice, and the racoon turned around, surprised and a bit annoyed. He looked at him as though he had just noticed him, a 5’7 teenager wearing a red onesie and sitting on one of his spaceship’ seats.

“No” he replied sharply, turning back to his task “Thank you” he added after a pause, slightly louder this time. The tree sighed once again. He lifted the box like it weighted nothing before carrying it towards them and Peter felt a bit stupid for offering his help. When he got near Peter and Mantis’ seats he put the box down and opened it, revealing dozens and dozens of small silver discs. He threw one in the general direction of the tree, who caught it without looking. He then handed one to Mantis- who tucked it away in one of her pockets, then proceeded to repeatedly make sure it stayed where she put it- before turning towards Peter.

“Here, kid,” he said in a less aggressive tone, giving him one of the discs. It was very light and cold to the touch “It’s a space suit. If something goes wrong and you somehow find yourself outside in space just press this to your chest, it’ll let you breathe until someone finds you”

“Oh, thank you” answered Peter, curiously looking at the space suit and resisting the intense urge to try it out right then and there “But I don’t really need it. My suit allows me to-“

The racoon shook his head, and he stopped talking “Just keep it”

His tone of voice took him aback, but he nodded in understanding “Thank you” he really didn’t know where to put the tiny disc, it’s not like his suit had pockets, so he opted to just settle it on his legs for the time being “I’m Peter, by the way. Peter Parker”

“Rocket” he answered shortly, looking back at the box to count the remaining suits. What was up with aliens and their cool names? “And this gentleman here is Groot, in case you didn’t pick up on that”

Peter nodded with an awkward smile “Is that everything he says?”

Groot looked at him offended, but Rocket kept him from replying.

“To you, yeah, but he actually has very intense conversations with us” that only raised more questions than anything but before Peter could inquire any further the racoon looked at him with a lopsided smirk “Cute suit"

He couldn’t tell if he was being sarcastic or not, so he settled for politeness, just to be sure.

“Thanks” he said, looking down at the suit himself. It actually was really neat; he needed to thank Mr Stark some more for designing it after he was done arguing with the other aliens.

“What’s up with the spider?” Rocket seemed genuinely interested in the suit, looking at the centre of his chest. That seemed to attract Mantis’s attention too as she started tracing the spider icon with her fingers.

“Oh, it’s my symbol” he explained, squirming a bit under Mantis’s light touch. Both aliens looked back at him with blank expressions “I’m Spider-Man”

That didn’t seem to click anything for them.

“You’re Spider-Man?” deadpanned Rocket, not amused in the least.

He nodded, “A radioactive spider bit me and now I pretty much have the same powers as a spider”

To demonstrate, he shot a web at Groot’s video game, pulling it into his own hands. The tree looked at him in surprise, and instead of being annoyed he seemed… impressed? He gave his video game back to him and turned to Rocket, who now had a weird expression on his face, one eye open and the other half closed.

“You have... spider superpowers?”

Peter nodded.

Groot curiously examined the webs remains on his console.

Mantis kept tracing the suit’s lines and weavings with her fingers.

Rocket looked like he just went through the five stages of grief in half a second.

“I’m way too old for this shit”

And without adding any further word he turned around and walked back towards the argument with the box of spacesuits held between his arms.

Peter looked at Mantis, confusedly, but she just nodded reassuringly.

“He’s a grumpy puppy, but you did great,” she told him, particularly interested in a line on his arm “At least he didn’t pull his rifle on you”

He couldn’t help feeling a bit anxious at the implications of that comment, but his concerns were short lived as his focus was yet again dragged to the argument going on a few feet away. It seemed like it had reached its apex, with Thor holding Mr Stark back with his new weapon- the _Stormbreaker_ \- pressed on his chest to keep him from squaring up to the ship's captain, Valkyrie arguing loudly with one of the aliens- the one with the really cool mohawk- and Strange looking pretty distraught, covering his face with a hand and shaking his head in disappointment.

“Okay, enough” the green lady- _Gamora_ \- said in an authoritative tone that wasn’t even close to a shout but that still made everyone in the room shut up and Mantis slightly twitch. Even Mr Stark interrupted his staring contest with the other Peter to cross his arms and look at her expectantly “Stop arguing, we’re just wasting time and we can’t afford that right now”

Strange removed the hand from his face and nodded at her in an “I told you guys” kind of motion. Mantis stood up from her seat near Peter and approached the group, but Peter himself preferred to stay away from the fight for as long as possible.

“It’s okay if you don’t trust us, we don’t trust you either if we have to be honest” she kept talking, and Peter was surprised that everyone in the room was still silent and listening “And if you really want we can just drop you off and leave you finding your way to Titan yourselves, but at least let us tell you what you’re going up against”

“We fought the goddess of death, honey” snapped Valkyrie, purely out of frustration and stress rather than actual annoyance at Gamora, “We know how to handle bad situations”

“Yeah, and we held one of the infinity stones and killed one of Thanos’ allies with it” replied Quill, earning himself a surprised and impressed gaze from Thor “We done showing off or what?”

“The point is-“ Gamora interfered again, holding Quill back with a hand on his chest that effectively silenced him “We know Thanos and the Dark Order far better than anyone else in the galaxy and we’re the only hope you have to actually make it out alive”

“You know, this is exactly why we don’t trust you, Xena” spoke Mr Stark, approaching Gamora until he was less than a foot away from her “How do you know Thanos so well?”

“She’s his daughter” both Strange and Thor said in unison. They seemed particularly tired of the fight and only answered to speed it up. Peter squirmed a bit in his seat, feeling like Tony’s questions were only making the situation worse. But yet again, looking at how stiffly he was holding himself and how he had refused to remove his suit, he could see that he was visibly terrified of everything that was going on and that awaited them, and he couldn’t really blame his concerns.

He turned back to Strange, his eyebrows raised in surprise, and the Guardians took the opportunity to take a deep breath and relax before the situation escalated “You knew that? Why do you want to trust them so badly, then?"

“Because, contrary to your belief, I am not an idiot” snapped Strange, evidently fed up. His recent wounds had been cleaned up and bandaged by Gamora, but they couldn’t hide the fact that he had had a hell of a five minutes back in New York “I know that she turned on Thanos and helped take down an intergalactic threat and that, in my book, automatically makes you someone I would trust"

“Well, I don’t” replied Tony, and Strange sighed, looking away. It seemed like he was a step away from spiralling into a panic attack, and Peter felt useless for not knowing how to fix that “For all I know she could turn on us and give the time stone to Thanos, if she’s really his daughter I doubt she’s any different from him”

That seemed to be the last straw for the Guardians. One of them- the bulky one who until then had been silently watching the argument from his leaned position against the wall- stood up and marched towards Tony with a hard gaze on his face, Quill muttered something under his breath and did the same but they both were stopped by a light touch from Gamora, who simply shook her head despite looking considerably tired. Rocket, on the other hand, had reached for the rifle on his back and was softly growling at Tony, but made yet no move to attack, and the guy with the mohawk started nervously playing with the red arrow hanging from his belt. Even Groot had left his game and had stood up, ready to take action if needed.

Peter stayed where he was, wondering if they were really going to fight and praying that he didn’t need to take part in it. Thor approached Tony and lightly hit him upside his head.

“This is how you build interplanetary relations?” he scoffed, while Stark looked at him surprised “They saved our lives, Tony, don’t forget that”

It was then that Peter noticed that while Thor was trying to wind Mr Stark down Mantis had made her way to the Guardians and was holding one of Quill’s hands, her antennae glowing softly but steadily. He had no idea what she was doing to him but he could see him visibly relax, his shoulders dropping and his fists loosening, before she moved over to the bulky blue alien.

“We know you’re scared,” said the other Peter after a long breath, and his calm tone seemed to calm everyone else too. Tony looked back at him with a set jaw but he seemed more composed than before “Trust me, we are too. We have a kid on our team as well and we are scared _shitless_. Last time we fought someone close to Thanos we lost one of our group, and _that wasn’t even Thanos himself_ ”

Mr Stark swallowed hard and Valkyrie shifted around uneasily, but they kept listening to him.

“We know that if we don’t plan ahead we’re never gonna make it out alive, and we want you too to survive this fight” continued Quill, “Gamora isn’t Thanos’ daughter, he’s a psychopath and she wants to kill him as much as everyone else, if not more. So please” he put a hand on Gamora’s back and she made a step forward, her face solemn but hiding a bit of pride for Quill's speech “Let her speak and listen to what she has to say. If you still want to go against Thanos alone we will drop you off on a habitable planet where you’ll hopefully find a lift to Titan, otherwise, we’ll go face this purple bastard together”

Thor smirked at his choice of words, and Strange simply looked back at Tony to judge his reaction. He still seemed debated but his face had relaxed visibly.

“I don’t know about you,” said Peter from his seat, his voice creaky as they all turned to look at him, surprised. Why did everyone keep forgetting about his presence? “But I trust them. I’m staying with them” Tony looked at him with a lopsided grin and furrowed eyebrows, and he held up the metallic disc as a proof for his decision “The racoon gave me a space suit”

Stark sighed loudly and looked up at the ceiling while Quill mouthed, “don’t call him that”.

“Alright” Tony finally said, looking back at the Guardians and nodding “We’ll follow your lead. And not because your speech was inspiring or whatever but simply because I trust the kid’s judgement”

Peter smiled and Thor gave him a thumbs-up.

“Awesome!” said Quill, evidently relieved as his smile came back to his face “Although I gotta warn you, if you insult my girl again by comparing her to that purple asshole I’ll have no choice but to throw you out in space and leave you there to rot”

His tone was so cheerful he almost seemed to be joking, but the bulky alien cleared any confusion by showing off a very sharp pair of knives, “He is not kidding”

Tony had the grace of looking sheepish, “Okay” he said in a squeaky tone, before clearing his throat and turning towards Gamora, solemnly “Tell us what we need to do”

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed it! I have another two chapters already written all down to go with this one, but since they're more comedy-filled than this and I was afraid they would clash with it I'm gonna post them as a separate fic in the same series of work, so if you want to see more stick around!
> 
> Thank you for reading! Feedbacks are always welcome :D


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